Just For Fun

Just For Fun

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                  TRUE STORY - THIS IS A BRICKLAYER'S ACCIDENT REPORT

Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block 3 of the accident report form I put 'Poor Planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

  • I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new six-storey building. When I completed my work I found I had some bricks left over, which when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.
  • Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a  barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the 6th Floor.
  • Securing the rope at Ground Level, I went up the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.
  • Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
  • Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building in the vicinity of the 3rd Floor. I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
  • Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time however the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
  • Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd Floor I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the 2 fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly.
  • The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only 3 vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain and unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin it's journey back down onto me. This explains the 2 broken legs.
  • I hope this answers your inquiry.

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