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TRUE STORY - THIS IS A BRICKLAYER'S ACCIDENT REPORT

Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block 3 of the accident report form I put 'Poor Planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new six-storey building. When I completed my work I found I had some bricks left over, which when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the 6th Floor.
Securing the rope at Ground Level, I went up the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building in the vicinity of the 3rd Floor. I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time however the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd Floor I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the 2 fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly.
The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only 3 vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain and unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin it's journey back down onto me. This explains the 2 broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.

THE END !!